Not how it should be

You get to see lots of awful things, things that people shouldn't see. You also get to hear about many more.

I had just gone clear at the hospital when we saw a man in a wedding suit coming towards us. It was dark and he'd been crying. Having been messed about all night by control and other idiots we had a laugh commenting that trouble had probably kicked off at his wedding and the inlaws had a ding dong. Or his wife had run off with the best man.....or been killed in a tragic accident. Black humour, we all have it. Next thing a job pings up on the screen, a discharge. Its 2345 we're in our meal break window, for God's sake.

"Need to get this job completed as soon as possible" it read. 25 yr old Male terminal cancer just got married wants to die at home. Shit. Do I feel bad now.

Professional head on as we head to the ward. The nurse pulls us aside to give us the gen...diagnosed 3 weeks ago, due to get married in November but told to bring the wedding forward. Shit.

They had just fitted a syringe driver and were topping him up with more morphine. I stuck my head around the door. There is no way he's going to make the journey I say to the nurse. Doctor says he will. Who am I to argue. His mum comes out and tells us what a wonderful day he's had.

How do you celebrate I wonder? My mate is thinking the same. It's not like you can go get hammered and do the Hokey Cokey, because this isn't what it's all about.

The nurse asks for a hand, I go in and try to make him physically comfortable. What do I say to his wife? Have you had a good day I say and immediately try and grab the words before they go into her ears. She looks at me gone out. Your mum in law was just telling me about it I say and her eyes soften. I go out and tell my mate that there is no way he'll make the journey. It's about 40 minutes to his house by road. All of a sudden I get shouted back in and the nurse asks me to help her move him over the bed so his wife can lay next to him. We quickly move him but he dies in our arms. His mum pushes past to tell him quickly that she loves him before he can't hear her, and I go out, because it's a private time and I was in the way. the nurse is in tears. We're all in tears because it shouldn't happen like that. You are meant to get hitched have a family and grow old. Double shit.